Miscellaneous Monday

It's just another Miscellaneous Monday . . .

 



Damn you, farting
autocorrect

• If people hate the auto-correct function on their cell phones so much, why use it? I wonder if that function was created by people who have little knowlege of the American English Language. Judging from the auto-correct features I'm seeing . . . ? Naaaah. Whoever created auto-correct knows exactly just the right amount of the English language. Damn you, Autocorrect!



coolchaser.com

• Does anyone else wish that the makers of Crayola crayons would include more than one black crayon in each box? I find that the black crayon is one of the most used crayons in any box, and that the box of 8 crayons should be bumped up to 9 - just to include an extra black crayon. 



cwconnect.computerworld.com.br

• High-heeled shoes.  Oh my.  You know just how high the pumps are now that women are wearing, and for daily work wear, too, not just for bar-hopping.  I saw a woman tottering through our local Meijer store recently, leaning on her shopping cart in order to walk, her ankles bending at dangerous angles as she slowly made her way down the aisle.  Ladies, if the heels on your shoes are so high that you can't safely walk, then don't wear the freaking shoe. Good grief. Rather than serving to make you look sexy or sophisticated or stylish, you just look plain old ridiculous.  Even a little girl playing dress-up in mommy's closet has more fashion sense.  Either learn how to walk in your "walking on my tippiest tippy-toe toes shoes" or relegate them to the back of your closet for good.
•  

  

  fanlistings.org

  Oh Charlie, it was good to know you.  Irascible and handsome rake that you are, you're just too far over the edge right now.  "Let's talk about something exciting. Me," says Charlie. Well - sorry. You can join ranks with Mel Gibson, another former hottie who has gone over the edge.  Do you two share the same DNA? Adonis DNA, perhaps? A 12-step program is exactly what you need right now, though you may scoff.
• 

  

  signaramacolumbus.com

  Having recently become much more sensitive to the needs of those who use wheelchair or other equipment in their daily lives, I've been noticing more often the interesting uses of handicapped parking spaces.  Not every person parked in a handicapped space is visibily in need, and that's fine by me as long as that person is displaying the proper sign in or on their vehicle.  I really, REALLY hate seeing cars parked in handicapped spaces without the requisite rear-view tag, or license plate.  Seriously? If you people need help becoming handicapped so you can park up close to a building, then see me. I'm sure there's a crowbar somewhere that can crack a kneecap or two and help you out.  Oh. And parking in handicapped just to pick up your take-out order is UNACCEPTABLE.  You are not a rock star. Rock star parking doesn't exist for mere mortals (only for those with Adonis DNA) and your restaurant take-out order doesn't qualify you for even temporary handicapped parking.  Give it up, people.

Happy Monday, all!

http://icanhascheezburger.com/
Yup, Mondays can be like that.

Cell Phone Harmony: A-one...a-two...a-three...

picturesof.net

It's that time of year when parents of children of all ages are invited to hear the accumulation of a years' worth of work.

That is, if your child is involved in some sort of music program.

Every spring, my kids were tortured pleased to participate in a spring music program in elementary school.  This consisted of kids taking the stage according to grade level and singing such hits as, "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean."  Parents waited patiently and applauded enthusiastically at the end of each number, and no one could stifle grins once the kindergarteners took the stage.



fccdundee.com

Once the kids hit middle school, the music program gets a little more serious. The admiration toward the elementary music director over how she can tease music out of kids drawn in squiggle-vision turns to real awe once you hear the middle school choir.

We recently attended the spring concert for my daughter, Big Sister, and what a treat that was.  A choir for each of three grades, varying numbers of participants, and excellent talent and skill across the board.

The only discordant notes to be heard were those of a cell phone.

Heavy sigh.

I've said it a million times, but I suppose I must say it again - though if you're a semi-regular reader, I know I'm just preaching to the choir (no joke intended, as this is about something that occurred during a choir concert):



electricalres.com

TURN OFF THE CELL PHONE.

Please.  For the listening pleasure of the rest of the crowd, turn off the cell phone.  Let me repeat that once more:

Turn off the cell phone.

The discordant jangle of the cell phone occurred a few times over the course of the evening.  To listen to the songs of three grades took just about one hour.  60 minutes of an audience's time to hear their child sing, and a few people couldn't live without their cell phones.

I believe my sister summed it up best, when she experienced this at her son, Bud's, band concert this spring:

"Mom and dad, am I so unimportant that I can't have fifteen minutes of your undivided time and attention so I can share with you some of the things I've learned this year?"

Yes, Virginia, you are unimportant.

You are SO unimportant that mommy and daddy cannot possibly distance themselves from their electronic gadgets more than two seconds in order to give you time and attention.  Don't worry, honey.  You can always text them from your seat onstage and let them know you're there.

 One rather incongruous thing happened at Bud's concert, though.  One of the students had a cell phone announce its presence just before it was time to play.



christianschooljournal.com

I wonder how many parents thought, huffily, "WHAT does a SEVENTH GRADER need with a CELL PHONE.  It's the SPRING CONCERT for PETE'S SAKE."

Well.  Whatever his reasons, he no doubt learned it from the adults in his life.

Skytel cellular phone commercial, youtube.com.

Remember this gem?

Six things that need a time-out

This post is inspired by  Mama Kat.

My list of Six People or Things that Need to Take a TIME OUT:

1.  Daft Punk's "Get Lucky." How the heck many times do they repeat "get lucky" or "get some" in this song? It's as annoying as the "na-na's" in that Journey song. Yes, I bet you're singing it now, too.  For a good laugh, check out Stephen Colbert's version of "Get Lucky."  Stephen Colbert does NOT need a time out, just so you know.

2.  This song, "Blurred Lines."  Please, radio stations, can we quit giving this air time? If you do, I'll take the video off this blog.

You could, instead, check out this response:

3.  Any store that has Halloween merchandise on display.  It's not even September people, will you knock it off, for frick's sake?

4.  People who park in the handicapped parking who do not have the proper permit in place, and that includes people who do have the permit in place but not the person the permit is for.  When you do that, it's called fraud, and you can face heavy fines.  Check out Stolen Spaces: How Handicap Drivers are Cheated in Metro Detroit and make sure you watch the video, too.  

5.  Manufacturers who insist on making slacks (pants) that hover well below the belly button, approaching the pubic bone of the wearer.  Please - this look is so nasty on everyone, even if they're built like Barbie. Stop it, already. I don't need to see plumber's crack on pre-pubescent girls or boys let alone the adults. I don't know how the criminal element gets away with anything when they're dressed like that.  If you pulled your pants up, you could run faster. 

www.theguardian.com
I don't care to know if you're a boxers, briefs,
 or thong kind of guy, either.

6.  People who use their cell phones for personal things when they're at work.  You definitely need a time out. I think that offenders' phones should be placed in a locked box until it is break time.  There's nothing more annoying than to have to wait for an employee to finish their personal business - "O M F G! A CUSTOMER! I'm on FACEBOOK for CHRISSAKES, can't they see I'm BUSY?" - so you can obtain some service.  This crosses all professions, not just those who are clerks in department stores or gas stations.  Medical personnel, educators, serving staff at restaurants - there are many guilty parties.  Sorry - you shouldn't be getting paid to play online.  Hang up the damned phone and get back to your JOB.

What things or people make your list of top six time-outs?

March Miscellany: 2009

Apparently, I had a lot of random thoughts in March of 2009.  Here are a few more:  

So has everyone survived winter?  I know we're just rounding the mid-March point, and today is officially the first day of spring, but I thought I should ask.

Some parts of this state aren't finished with winter, yet.

Others have completely given up on winter wear, though, and I admit I'm one of them.  The winter coat was dry-cleaned recently, and I'm refusing to wear it until this coming October, when temperatures dip to freezing again.

In other mundane news, there are just a few things that have been on my mind lately, and I thought I'd share.

• First, it really annoys me to no end when people call and then don't identify themselves when they leave a message.  We have caller ID, and also an answering machine.   Far too often lately I get phone calls from people who just say, "Hey! It's me. Call ya later!"  I check the caller ID because I don't recognize the person's voice.  I don't recognize the phone number.  I ask myself, Who on earth was that?  Of course, the person never calls back, and anyone I see in subsequent days never says, "So, did you get my message?"  Please, people, when you leave a message for someone, leave your NAME.  If you have the phone number, obviously you are special in some way -- but I don't have automatic voice recognition.  Sometimes, you HAVE to leave your name at the beep.

• Another annoying  behavior occurs when people let their youngsters use the telephone, completely unsupervised.  Two words:  Please. Don't.  You might have the nicest, most wonderful child in the world -- but when that child gets to call someone and you aren't right there, only God knows what's going to get left on the answering machine by that child. 

• Cell phone users?  The list of annoyances is long.  For now, I'll stick  to those who use their cell phones in public places.  I can't tell you how many times I've been pushing that cart down the grocery aisle, and I hear someone talking.  I turn, because I don't want to be rude if someone is addressing me.  I realize whatever was said wasn't directed to me, and turn away -- but not before getting an indignant look from the person who spoke.  Why so indignant?  Because the person was on a cell phone, talking, and felt that I was intruding on their conversation.  Uh, people? If you're on a cell phone, in a public place, trying to have an intimate conversation, then it sure as Hades isn't my fault or problem if everything you say is overheard by other people.  Get over yourself.

• I try to be a polite person.  I really do, and kudos to my parents and other family members for trying to beat some common decency into me when I was a child.  If I'm entering a building, I'll hold the door for someone if they're entering closely behind me, regardless of their age.  Most people will nod their heads, smile, or say, "thank you."  Not one ungrateful teenaged boy, who sashayed through the open door to our local 7-11 as if it were his God-given right.  Acknowledge even with a mere glance the person holding the door? Meh.  It was beneath him.  It might just as well have been an automatic door, for all he was aware.  It was awfully tempting to try to close that door just enough to catch his heels so he'd trip and spill his super-sized fountain drink, but I'm attempting to be a polite person, so I restrained myself. 

• While I did have some common decency beaten into me, sometimes it fails in especially trying and frustrating situations.  Recently, I was trying to register online for a college class.  The process went smoothly until I clicked "submit."  For some reason, I couldn't register for the class I wanted.  I called the registrar's office, and explained the situation to a very nice woman named Irene, who answered the phone.  She explained that I was not flagged in the system as a student who would be ordinarily taking that particular class, and would need an advisor signature or instructor approval to take the course.  While I didn't raise my voice, my response was impatient.  I apologize, Irene, because certainly you don't make the rules at the college.  But it really bugs me when there is no indication in the course description that there are all of these requirements.

• So now I'm moving on to pay for a class that I'm really not wanting to take, but I have to take SOMETHING, so there ya go.  Now it's time to pay the piper.  This can also be done online, which is a handy thing for many people.  Does anyone out there remember the dark ages, when you stood in line for hours on end, clutching scads of paperwork in the hope you'd brought all the right things so when you got to the window you could pay and not have to lose your place in line because you forgot something critical and so had to drive home to get the forgotten something and then get back in line and wait two more hours? Ahh yes, the good old days!  Now you can make those long waits disappear by paying online.  I attempt to do this, using the payment system the college has contracted with. I enter all the pertinent data, click submit, and . . . voila!  Discover that the system does not accept Visa.  WTF?  I'm thinking.  For those of you who recall this is a family web site, "WTF" also means, "Wow, that's freaky."  I place yet another call to the college, and the polite young man who answers tells me I can pay in person, using cash, or by personal check, or cashier's check, or money order.  But they don't accept Visa.  I thanked him for making this such an easy transaction.  Again, it's not his fault someone came up with a ridiculous rule -- and I apologize. 

• Winter temperatures in Michigan often dip below 10 degrees Fahrenheit, and often below zero.  I often wonder what's wrong with the able-bodied, and supposedly mentally capable, adults who are carrying young children with no winter coats or hats on.  The adults are fully covered with all-purpose winter gear, but the kids are coatless and hatless.  WTF? Wow, that's freaky. I 'm not talking about kids who refuse to wear the winter coats because it's cooler to be freezing cold.  I'm talking about the kids who can barely put on their own winter gear without assistance of some kind.  Parents, smarten up.  The kids need to be covered.  Frostbite is not pretty, and even though it may be warm in the mall, it's a cold trip from the parked vehicle to the door. 

•  In today's U.S. mail, I received a card from . . . well, I'm not telling you the name of the company. I don't think they deserve any mention from me by name.  This company tells me they already know what my lawn needs for its first treatment, because they've already tested it.  So, uh, is this company telling me they trespassed?  And for the low, low, introductory price of $39.99, I can get this first treatment.  Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.  Anyone who reads this space regularly knows that I'm too cheap to pay any lawn service to come and spray chemicals on my lawn when I can get my husband to do it for free.  Besides, my lawn is natural. And if that includes a few dandelions to offend the neighborhood, then so be it. 

• It's also incredibly annoying when you're trapped in the pharmacy drive-thru.  One car ahead, one car behind.  The car ahead takes twenty minutes to complete their transaction.  At least, it was twenty minutes when I started counting.  As I pull ahead to finally pick up my prescriptions, the clerk apologizes for the delay.  "There were problems with the order," she explains.  I'm sympathetic.  These things happen.  "But," I said, "that customer did have time to drive away and pull up a few rows and find a parking place."  The clerk's jaw dropped about a foot at that news.  This sort of thing has happened before, back in the smaller home town of Tawas City.  One belligerant couple had pulled up into the pharmacy drive-thru to wait for the prescriptions to be filled.  The drive-thru is for drop offs and pick ups.  Apparently, the rules don't apply to them -- and so, because I had a very sick child who needed medicine yesterday, I had to park the car, take that sick child inside, and drop off the prescription.  All because some idiot decided the rules didn't apply to him.   Folks, if there's that big of a problem with your order and you're at the drive-thru, park the car, and GO INSIDE. 

• I'm continually amazed at the number of items that show up in our school's lost and found.  I joke with other adults in the building that I'm going to start shopping in the lost and found bin because there is some pretty nice stuff in there.  How is it that parents don't know their children are missing snowpants, backpacks, lunch boxes, expensive hooded sweatshirts, jeans, shoes, or t-shirts? 

• While we're on the subject of school, how is it that there is always a cadre of parents who believe their child is never to blame for anything?  Come on.  If your child is witnessed by several reliable adults doing something to another child, or breaking school rules, and is reprimanded for it, why is it always a conspiracy against your kid?  Family loyalty is to be commended, but sometimes, when you're wrong -- you're wrong. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  And don't you think it sends the wrong message to your child when he is not held accountable for his actions?    As much as we all complain about our society, it really isn't to blame for everything. 

• I still haven't figured out why socks come in re-sealable packages, and why the packages always tout this as if it's some new and amazing claim:  "Now! In resealable packages!"  Whoopee.  Like I'm going to wear one pair of socks continually, and when they wear out, then take out another new pair?  Oh! I know!  What I'm going to do is take out a pair for myself, and then re-seal the package and give it to someone as a gift.  Uh huh.

Well, that's about all of the mindless musing I can come up with for now.  What are you wondering about, lately?