Halloween 2006: Throwing out the Trash

Ok, so it wasn't just me being a prude as I watched the kids file by in the hallway of my child's elementary school yesterday afternoon.

halloweencostumes4u.com

The children were dressed in typical Halloween fare (ghosts, Jedi knights, Darth Vader, witches, princesses, Ninjas (including the Teenage Mutant Turtle variety), a few grim reapers were on hand, baseball and other sports heroes).

The adults and their high school aides were dressed in orange and black or in a simple Halloween costume.

But one costume wearer couldn't help but catch everyone's eye as she marched down the hall next to the youngsters.

bizrate.com

Thankfully, the wearer of "Dorothy the Tramp from Oz" costume**, as I dubbed it, declined to wear her thigh-high stockings to an elementary school, but little else was left to the imagination.

And that was just the front view of the costume. Not only was the cup about to overfloweth from the neckline of the adult Dorothy outfit, but there was a tattoo snaking up from the breast of the wearer, which drew even more attention to the cleavage revealed from the skimpy neckline of the blouse.

The back view revealed a lacy hemline that barely skimmed the buttocks of the wearer--perhaps it extended an inch or two below the butt--

BUT I was hoping, as was one male observer nearby(though I expect it really would have been an answer to his prayers), that the wind wouldn't catch that skirt as she exited the building. I was hoping she wouldn't have to bend down to tie any shoelaces because I really didn't want to see if she was wearing the standard granny-white underwear or a thong or perhaps nothing.

Not that I wanted to look, but it was getting increasingly difficult to tear my eyes away as my mind was contemplating all of the appalling possibilities.

Other parents mentioned to the school secretary the tastelessness of the Dorothy from Oz costume. I can rest assured it wasn't just me thinking there was something amiss. The secretary cringed and told me that the wearer of the costume was a PARENT who had come in to help with the Halloween party.

Yikes.

wizardofozclothing.com

I think had that been my child's class I'd have asked the parent to go put on some clothes.

In true child form though, the kids were more entranced with Dorothy's huge shoes (see photo, below, and at right) than they were with any other part of the costume. ("Mama! That lady's not wearing a seat belt!" said the child, of the naked woman zooming by in her automobile. . . .)

While this particular Dorothy may have been welcome to tread the yellow brick road to any number of homes to trick or treat, it is my opinion that this particular Dorothy really didn't belong at school in that get-up.

And I also think it's kind of scary that a parent chose to wear that outfit to an elementary school Halloween party. Save it for the bedroom, honey, or for your no-kids allowed Halloween parties. I think, aside from a handful of fanaticists, this is one reason why schools ban Halloween costumes and resort to having "autumn parties" instead of "Halloween parties."

bizrate.com

I don't know. I'm sure the woman thought she looked quite nice, and thought the outfit really cute. And, it's a character from a children's story after all, so that makes it all right. But, let's examine the reality, here.

Here is the Adult Dorothy (bright blue, at right). The only differences from the "Teen" Dorothy  is that the adult Dorothy has a fitted waist line/bodice and thigh-high stockings.

bizrate.com, teen Dorothy

The Teen Dorothy has a looser bodice and waistline and (presumably) one-piece white tights, and a less-fitted skirt. Are the one-piece tights a bow to virginity, vs. the thigh-high stockings?

Otherwise, there isn't much to distinguish the "adult" costume from the "teen" costume. Which is rather shameful, unless you don't   mind your teen daughter looking like a stripper in training for an Over the Rainbow strip club.

costumes4less.com

It has been in the news recently that Halloween garb is getting a bit more. . . risque, and it doesn't seem that it's limited just to the adult set. As you can see from the outfits pictured here, the "teen" costumes are getting to be a bit skimpy as well. My sister remarked that a third-grade child at her school was dressed as a Geisha - with skimpy skirt and extremely high-heeled shoes. "Cute idea," she remarked, "but the costume was definitely too adult-looking for a kid that age."  The costume wasn't nearly as modest as the one pictured, here.

vintage 1970s devil at
goblinhaus.com

Does anybody remember when Halloween costumes were composed of whatever you had lying about the house? We used to feel sorry for the kids who had store-bought costumes -especially the ones that were like plastic bags and had the character and name of the character you were supposed to be dressed as, performing some heroic deed. Picture Spider Man in all his red and blue glory, splashed across the front of something equivalent to a kid-size white garbage bag, with his logo in big letters, scaling the side of a building while rescuing a kitten stranded on the rooftop. You get the idea. They really looked bad, bad, bad. Tsk.

komar.org

Halloween merchandise is a really big deal now, though, and people spend just as much on Halloween as they do on Christmas. Decorations, light and yard displays, and so of course, costumes must keep up with the Joneses as well. I have no complaint over the improvements made to store-bought costumes. But home-made ones can be just as nice, with a little bit of effort.

Maybe dressing as a hobo isn't  all the rage anymore -  our popular culture and the times have changed and hobos aren't  aound so much as homeless people, who I guess would be their counterparts in this day and age. Witches are still in vogue, as are princesses, grim reapers, and licensed characters such as Mickey Mouse and Super Man.

areyouinmyphoto.com

As a kid back home, admittedly reaching the dark ages now, our Halloween costumes consisted of a few basic pieces: black skirt, cape, dad's  old coveralls, old flowered fabric that often doubled as a cape for a gypsy, red kerchiefs pilfered from dad. Accessories were then added. Witch? Get a black hat and stripey socks. Hobo or bum? Smudge some dirt on that face and wear the coveralls and an old flannel shirt. Clown? Coveralls worked again, with colorful ruffles around ankles and wrists.

childparentingabout.com

I recall being a robot one year - tin foil and a box, and a mask were just fine. 

Ok, we weren't top-notch stage costume experts, perhaps, but we still had a lot of fun. And the majority of the kids who tricked & treated at our house were dressed in similar fashion.

I don't  object to an "upgrade" in costuming, I  just wish, much like the daily clothing that is considered in style these days, that kids could still be kids and not have to select a costume from something that is inappropriate for their ages. Certainly some of the costumes available are looking a little too sexual, and that really sends a mixed message when an adult purchases a costume that is too adult in looks and tone for their elementary aged daughter (or son).

free4allcity.com

There are those who object greatly to the dressing up of children in any costume be it scary or not, and asking for candy door-to-door. So let's  give them more ammunition to just outright cancel the day, shall we? Let's  continue to cave in to marketing and purchase sleazy costuming.

My son's preschool (about four years ago) was an entirely costume-free zone on Halloween. None of the kids minded,  they understood that  costumes were an after-school thing, and they were happy to have their party all the same. They indulged in the usual party games that school children do - they just do it without the costume.

After witnessing a few get-ups at my daughter's school, I'm thinking that costume-free Halloween school days are not a bad idea. Especially if the adults don't have enough sense to wear something appropriate.

gigaweb.com - Mistress Dorothy

electricboutique.com

Ok, my mind and eyes are done reeling from the assault they suffered that Halloween afternoon. But if you're not attending your kids' Halloween parades at school, you just have no idea what on earth you're missing! And if the trend toward risque costuming continues, I suspect attendance at elementary school Halloween parades won't be the only thing going up next year.

**May I add that the commentary here is just that. COMMENTARY. I do not know the person who wore this particular costume, and have no idea of what kind of morals and standards the costume wearer follows or possesses. The costume wearer may be the most moral and upright citizen for all I know. The commentary here is strictly my own OPINION and is not meant as an attack on any individual or group of individuals, tattooed or not. Tattoos can be beautiful expressions of individuality. I have no issue with tattoos. My "issue" is with appropriate dress, as regular readers of this space may already know.


Thank God nobody showed up like this, however:

yeselguapo.com

More Monday Miscellaney



lolcats - icanhascheezburger.com

It's Monday, and I've got "It's Friday, I'm in Love," on the brain.  I guess this means it's time for more Monday Miscellaney.  Lucky you!

• There's nothing like your pre-teen telling you the computer keyboard is frozen to start your day off right.  After a change of batteries, some messing around with clicking this button or that, running the virus scan and restarting the computer, the keyboard works again. Whew. Double whew. I'd be lost without the home computer.
• I'm thinking Halloween is my favorite holiday, hands-down.  I mentioned to a relative last night that "We're getting ready for Halloween, here," and got the response, "WHAT? It's only October 3!"  That gave me pause for all of five seconds.  I'll blame it on having kids, though I suspect that even without the kids, I'd have gotten out the pumpkins and skeletons anyhow.  At least I waited until October 2nd to do it.  I like the costumes, the free candy (though, at my age, the candy isn't free anymore), and the decorations.  It's rather low-pressure, unlike Christmas.
• It's weird to start seeing people you know in the obituary column who are your age.  This isn't a new phenomenon by any means, but it always takes one by surprise. 
• Why is it that during 40-degree weather, I still see people wearing flip flops? Seriously? I can't wait until snowfall.  Wonder how many will be losing toes to frostbite.
 



totalfilm.com

"MY TOES! MY TOES! Why didn't

I wear my fur-lined boots?"

• I feel privileged to help serve Mass at our local parish.  My family is on the schedule once a month.  For the last 6 weeks, however, we've not only served on our scheduled date and time, but also been pinch-hitting for others who don't bother to show up, let alone arrange for a substitute.  My husband has lately taken to asking me, "Are you scheduled to do anything, this time?" My response is usually, "No," which he quickly follows up with, "Yeah, until you get there."  Then he stifles snickers of "I told you so," when someone taps my shoulder and says, "Can you fill in, today?"  I really don't mind - except that I'm starting to feel resentful toward those who are finding it impossible to fulfill their commitment.  To them, I'd like to say, "You signed on for this.  It is one hour, one weekend, per month.  If you can't fulfill the duty, then ask to be taken off the schedule, and until that happens, find someone to fill in for you.  You aren't the only person who might like to sit with their family now and then during a church service.  It is extremely rude and inconsiderate of you to skip out when you know you're scheduled, and then when you do show up, it's within two minutes of start time - leaving everyone to wonder if you'll even be here.  You can do better than that!"
 



thegreenhead.com

peanut butter & jelly spreader

• Wow, but I'm tired of fundraisers.  Every year, our school does the same fundraiser. In my opinion, the catalog is full of stuff that could be purchased elsewhere, and for less. For example, those handy suction-cup containers you can stick in the shower - the catalog had them for $2.00 more than the local Meijer.  The chocolates look mouth wateringly delicious until you get them.  Then, you discover they're all about the size of a fifty-cent piece and 2/3 of the box is raised cardboard with the chocolates artfully spread on top of that to make the container look like it's brimming with sweetness.  And I really need to spend $7.50 on a "peanut butter & jelly spreader."  I'm thinking most of this stuff probably comes from the Lillian Vernon catalog to begin with.
• Excuses, excuses. I do feel badly, sometimes, when kids tell me they've lost an important piece of homework, or that they couldn't do the homework because they were being shuffled here and there, often at the parent's whim and will, and no one had time to sit down and help with the work.  Other times, it's generally a case of the kid being extremely disorganized and sitting in front of the computer or video games instead of prioritizing what really  needs to be done.
 



sweetcatastrophecakes.blogspot.com

• At what grade, in school, do you remember the teacher having to tell the class, "In order to get a birthday treat, you need to be seated at your desk and not swarming Alfred.  I expect to hear a 'thank you' to Alfred when he brings your treat to you."  Now, I'm not so old as to believe that my elementary school days are filled with rosy-cheeked, well-behaved children.  I'm sure we were little monsters at times - in fact, I know we were.  But - I seriously don't recall my teachers ever telling us to be seated at birthday treat time. I don't think most of us dared to swarm the birthday kid, hoping to pick over each decorated cupcake in hopes of getting the one with the most frosting.  Really, kids?  You're ten and eleven years old now. What happened to manners?
 



makeupadviceforum.com

• Of course, what can I expect when I see what's left in the staff room of the rolls from a meeting.  Someone took out the center part of the roll and left the rest in the box.  My reaction was laughing disbelief: This is something we'd do to each other, at home, I thought - recalling the days when my brothers would say, as one of us eyed that last piece of pie or cake, "That's mine - I spit on it."
• That lipstick you were so happy to find that cost $1.99?  It's going to go on your lips like $1.99, too.  Ever try to color your lips with crayon? Not even a Crayola, but one of those generic off-brand crayons? That's what $1.99 lipstick is like. Don't waste your money.  On the other hand, if the lipstick is $1.99 because it's been marked down from $12.00 or something, stock up.
• While I'm on the subject of lipstick, why is it when I look at the wide array of colors available I end up purchasing something nearly the same shade as what I have at home? I guess I'm just meant to wear one shade of lipstick.
• Where art thou, 2 yards of black lace? I've searched high and low for this lace now that I want it for a Halloween costume, and do you think I can find it?  Just my luck, I'll find it November 1st.

Thursday Miscellany

• When your kids are sick, are you the sympathetic mom who hovers just the right amount, always there to soothe a fevered brow, receiving thankful looks and wan smiles from your little patient?  Or do you turn into drill sergeant mom, who barks orders at the sick child to "DRINK THAT, OR ELSE!" and "WAKE UP! IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MEDICINE!"  Which mom are you, and why?




• You must remember the special supplies you used in school - those things that were only hauled out when you were learning a new skill that required a ruler, or a compass? Think of the things you'd do with that ruler.  Helicopters. Swords. All-purpose whacking sticks.  Markers were fun, too - who didn't stack them end-to-end to see if it would stand up in a sword fight before teacher turned around? Remember the big, pink erasers? They served better as pencil holders than erasers:  Dig that pencil tip into the eraser - there! You can always find your pencil, now.  What is the goofiest thing you ever used your school supplies for? The following comes to you courtesy of GraphJam:









• Mental Floss contains a host of articles to keep you procrastinating researching busy for a few hours.  Since Halloween is coming up, here are a few costumes from the article "Halloween Costumes to Inflict upon the Innocent."   What is your favorite Halloween costume from childhood?








Baby lobster: Who could resist?











Come on, we all know you blame your own farts
on the baby.



• Just in case you thought YOUR workplace was the only truly bizarre place to be, check this out:






"Meet Chuck, the Dark Lord of data entry."  Picture Itookatwork.com

And you thought YOU had the co-worker from hell?  P.S.  When your religious education director asks you what you like the kids to call you, "Spawn of Satan" is probably not the best answer.  Did you ever work with someone who truly gave you the willies?




• A final nod to Halloween, courtesy of GraphJam. How do you rate your Halloween candy? Or, rather, your kids' Halloween candy?  I know the chocolate always ranked first, and the Slo Pokes toward the bottom of the list, along with the ubiquitous hard lumps of Bazooka Gum, which was only closely preceded by DumDum Suckers.  Just in case your brain is still on sugar overload from last year's Halloween intake, here's a handy-dandy chart to help you organize which treats to pilfer from the children:



graphjams.com

Halloween 2010

Random thoughts on Halloween 2010:

 



thevault.cx
Well, at least he wore a
costume.

• 344 trick-or-treaters, including 5 adults. 
• Really, adults?  Get a job and buy your own candy.  On November 1st, the candy is marked down at all the stores. You can get that bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for half-price.  Though I do appreciate that you at least put on a mask in an attempt to be festive.
• One friend has pondered saving candy wrappers and putting a note inside saying, "Grow up," and putting those in the candy bags of the adults who come to her door.
• Poor little guy who came to the door, looking woebegone.  Face all scabby like he'd had an encounter with Freddy Krueger days before, wearing a vacant expression, and not quite making eye-contact, with a worn-out mom in the background encouraging him to "Say trick or treat, honey."  This little guy doesn't need Halloween once a year - he needs it more often because it looks like every day is hell for him.
• Pre-teens in hot pants and fishnet stockings: I know it's a Halloween costume, but something tells me you really don't mind wandering the neighborhood - or anywhere else - on a going basis,with your ass half-exposed.  HEAVY SIGH  I'm so glad that the kids I escorted had their body parts decently covered.



ipernity.com
Actually, the young girl I saw
was showing a little more
cheek.

• Our town has no "set" trick or treat hours, but typically kids start around 5:30 p.m., or whenever it starts getting dark, whichever comes first.  One gleesome threesome started making the rounds at around 3:45 p.m.  What the heck?  That's a little bit early, in my estimation. After a few rounds of door pounding, doorbell ringing, and hollering "trick-or-treat," the kids packed into the family car and drove off - bags empty.  With 344 kids on the average, if we start handing out candy at 3:45 p.m., it'll never last.



Not exactly the costume
I saw, but close enough.
chasing-fireflies.com

• Which leads me to this:  If you're trick or treating that early in this neighborhood, it's obvious you don't live in this neighborhood.  Yes, I know. There are kids who live out in the country where there are not homes close enough together to easily partake of free treats; apartment dwelling kids; kids in unsafe neighborhoods, etc.  But I know darned well that there are not 344 children in residence in this neighborhood in which I live.  Halloween is easily becoming an expensive holiday for this household, running second only to Christmas (and that's another story).
 



wondercostumes.com
Don't sit on his lap!

• Cutest costume award goes to the toddler dressed as a turkey - a brown body suit with tail feathers stuck on the back side, which bounced delightfully at every step. 
• Coolest costume award goes to the 6-foot tall Darth Vader who came to the door with a little Princess Leia in tow.
• Most interesting and creative costume award goes to the kid dressed as a Whoopee Cushion.
• Many, many children said "thank you" upon receipt of their treat. Good job, moms and dads!

It's the Great Pumpkin,
Charlie Brown

1. Do you think every town should have a set time for trick-or-treats?
2. Do you think kids/adults of a certain age should be banned from public trick-or-treating?
3. Would you give an adult candy at trick-or-treat time, costumed or not?
4. Do you give parents candy when you know darn well the baby/toddler isn't going to eat it?
5. Do you have a candy hierarchy based on creativity of costume, age of trick-or-treater, or do you prefer "candy equally to all" on Halloween?

pbase.com
Happy Halloween, everyone!



Rain, Rain, Go Away

Stolen from Facebook

In Michigan, mid-April doesn't always mean gentle, April showers bringing May flowers.

Anybody in Michigan knows that when it comes to the weather, just wait five minutes. Then, you can decide if it's time for umbrellas or snow shovels, or both.

Blizzard of '78
www.absloutemichigan.com

Winters in Michigan used to mean mountainous piles of snow, more than 3 snow days allotted per school district per year - and we used those 3 days and then some - and Norman Rockwell-esque visions of apple-cheeked children sledding downhill or making perfect figure-8s on outdoor rinks.

Snow, as seen at the right, was the standard.  

As a kid, I remember Easters spent up north with the grandparents and wearing winter coats and winter boots to church.  By the time we drove home, about 3 hours away, the weather was warmer, the grass greener, and people stared at us like we were from outer space because there was still snow on the car.  

As a kid, I remember trick-or-treating while wearing a winter coat.  The criteria for costumes included, "Will it fit over a winter coat?"  

As a kid, I remember snow on Thanksgiving day - even if it was just a dusting, it was there.  

As a kid,  the Blizzard of '78 was a big deal.  My siblings and I would blearily tromp downstairs for breakfast and my mom would say, "Go back to bed - you have a snow day."  This went on nearly every  Monday for about six weeks.  Imagine our disappointment when the Monday came and we actually had to follow through with the morning routine of getting ready for a full school week.

Now that I'm an adult, winters are a different kind of cold, not nearly as snowy, and not nearly as much fun.

Winters are just plain long.

In recent years, it seems like snow doesn't fall until January whereas when I was a kid, we had snow in November - though I do vividly remember roller skating outdoors on Christmas day one year, wearing a sweater instead of snow pants and a winter jacket.  Oh, and grandma's eccentric neighbor was cutting his grass on Christmas day.

In recent years, it seems like there's very little snow spread out throughout the winter season, and the winter season wraps up with heavy rain fall for weeks at a time.  Enough so, that my daughter's friend says, "It reminds me of the rainy seasons back in Vietnam!"  

flooded area park
www.wnem.com

What I'm seeing in my area right now is akin to what's in the photo at the left.

A former neighbor from up north is looking at weather more like the photo at the head of this post, "We don't get hurricanes."

We both live in Michigan - though in different areas.  My former neighbor is spending her spring break shoveling snow.  I'm spending mine trying to dry out my basement.  And hoping that the flurries I see in the air today are not going to accumulate in any great amount, unless it will net me a snow day come Monday.  That's one thing I still look forward to, even if I'm not a kid anymore.

Even when it comes to weather, we always want what we don't have.  I'll try to remember this weather when it's July here in Michigan, 98-degrees Fahrenheit in the shade, and humid as a tropical rain forest with no hope for rain in sight.  For now though, April snow and showers bring May flowers.

www.wallcoonet.com

Six things that need a time-out

This post is inspired by  Mama Kat.

My list of Six People or Things that Need to Take a TIME OUT:

1.  Daft Punk's "Get Lucky." How the heck many times do they repeat "get lucky" or "get some" in this song? It's as annoying as the "na-na's" in that Journey song. Yes, I bet you're singing it now, too.  For a good laugh, check out Stephen Colbert's version of "Get Lucky."  Stephen Colbert does NOT need a time out, just so you know.

2.  This song, "Blurred Lines."  Please, radio stations, can we quit giving this air time? If you do, I'll take the video off this blog.

You could, instead, check out this response:

3.  Any store that has Halloween merchandise on display.  It's not even September people, will you knock it off, for frick's sake?

4.  People who park in the handicapped parking who do not have the proper permit in place, and that includes people who do have the permit in place but not the person the permit is for.  When you do that, it's called fraud, and you can face heavy fines.  Check out Stolen Spaces: How Handicap Drivers are Cheated in Metro Detroit and make sure you watch the video, too.  

5.  Manufacturers who insist on making slacks (pants) that hover well below the belly button, approaching the pubic bone of the wearer.  Please - this look is so nasty on everyone, even if they're built like Barbie. Stop it, already. I don't need to see plumber's crack on pre-pubescent girls or boys let alone the adults. I don't know how the criminal element gets away with anything when they're dressed like that.  If you pulled your pants up, you could run faster. 

www.theguardian.com
I don't care to know if you're a boxers, briefs,
 or thong kind of guy, either.

6.  People who use their cell phones for personal things when they're at work.  You definitely need a time out. I think that offenders' phones should be placed in a locked box until it is break time.  There's nothing more annoying than to have to wait for an employee to finish their personal business - "O M F G! A CUSTOMER! I'm on FACEBOOK for CHRISSAKES, can't they see I'm BUSY?" - so you can obtain some service.  This crosses all professions, not just those who are clerks in department stores or gas stations.  Medical personnel, educators, serving staff at restaurants - there are many guilty parties.  Sorry - you shouldn't be getting paid to play online.  Hang up the damned phone and get back to your JOB.

What things or people make your list of top six time-outs?