What would parents like for Christmas?

As promised, here is the 'parent rebuttal' to the "What would Teachers Like for Christmas" post. 


Dear Teacher,

Thank you for the gift of your knowledge and expertise, which you share daily with my child.  I'm really thankful that there's a school I can send my child to where people really care about him/her, and will also teach him the finer points of long-division and how to reduce fractions.  If I had to home school, I think I'd be in big trouble.

Not to mention, much as I love my child, there are days when he/she irritates the crap out of me, so I can only imagine how it is for you, dealing with 30 or more in a classroom at any given time.

It's that time of year again, when we parents start to sweat the stuff like, "What should we give Billy's teacher so it doesn't look like we're trying to buy him a good grade or one less trip to detention?" We've all been taught it's better to give than to receive, but there are a few things I wouldn't mind receiving, if you're feeling in the mood.  Here's the start of my list:

1) Can we be done with assessment tests, already?  Seems like we just got done with the MEAP, and now there's another one on board.  My poor kid is stressed out, unable to sleep, because there's yet another test.  I know it has to be done, but it's awfully frustrating at this end, too.

2)  Please, can we be partners in the educating of my child?  I know you've got a lot on your plate, because I've been to open house and to conferences.  I also read the paper and see the new guidelines the state has put down for the education of our kids.  The day is short, and the list of requirements is long.  But we're in elementary school. Can we take a ten-minute recess, please? I'm willing to help my child with homework, but does s/he really need 30 problems of the same type just to show proficiency? Wouldn't five or ten be sufficient?  And I know all those subjects are important or they wouldn't be in the curriculum, but do you really think my child has no other obligation in life but to do two hours of geometry every evening, as well as a 2-page essay about what started World War II (and that's just answering the first question in the history book)?  And let's not forget science and English homework.

Oh, and if my child has homework because s/he is screwing around when s/he should be working, please let me know that before parent conferences so we can fix that problem.  That's why I give you my contact info. for home and at work. And I'm serious, when I say contact me at ANY time. Except when normal people sleep.

I'll vow to limit my child's extra-curriculars if you vow to cut back on the ridiculous amount of homework.  

And to directly contradict that statement, please understand that there may be times when my kid's extra-curricular schedule conflicts with the school day - especially if there's a special tournament, or something like that.  

We do our best to schedule appointments after-school hours, but sometimes that doctor or dental appointment can't happen at any other time.

And on that note - 

3) Don't get irritated with me when I pull my child from school for a family vacation.  I don't work for a school district, and my employer allows me 2 weeks of vacation per year.  I can't always get the prime time off - which ideally would be that block of time during winter and spring, which typically coincides with Christmas and Easter.  There are other people at my workplace, and they all want that time, too.   I know the kids will miss school and the accompanying work - and some of it just isn't possible to make up.  But, that's why I let you know well ahead of time, whenever possible, so we can help Junior keep up with at least the basic classwork during the time he's gone.  And even though we're "on vacation," we'll see to it that Junior gets that work done, and makes up anything he missed upon his return.  

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"Other than your child's backpack and clothing,
do not label school supplies with your child's
name.  Supplies will be community supplies
for all to use." 

4) School supplies.  The list gets longer every year.  If the school requires a specially sized 5 1/2" x 7 1/2" notebook with an orange cover, then they can damn well provide it because I checked every office supply store and every Walmart/Target/Meijer in a five-county area and still couldn't find that damned thing. Of course, I learned on the fourth day of school that Billy's mom had bought out the entire supply. Thanks a bunch, Billy's mom.

I'll do my best to fulfill the school supply list for my kid, but really, is it a deal breaker if I buy her the box of 24-crayons instead of the box of 12? Seriously? 

And believe it or not, I do send pencils with that kid.  Where they go, I do not know. There's probably a vortex where all missing pencils go, kind of like the missing socks on laundry day.

Oh. And if I can, I will purchase extra supplies and donate them to you. I know there are some students who just don't have the means to get a notebook or other basics.  But, don't ask me to send all 26 glue sticks to school with Jimmy so you can stock your classroom.  If I'm purchasing 26 glue sticks for Jimmy, and ten other parents are purchasing 26 glue sticks for their Jimmys, you can bet you'll have glue sticks to last the next couple of years, and my Jimmy's glue sticks will go to school with him on an as-needed basis. That goes for lined notebook paper, spiral notebooks, scissors, rulers, pencils, hi-lighters, and ink pens, too.  If you need help stocking the classroom, say so - don't hijack me with a list of items that is purportedly for the use of just my own kid, but is really for everyone else.

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5) I really do try to clothe my child in decent apparel, and to set an example. Would you please maintain some professional standard of dress?  I know fashions change, and I certainly wouldn't expect you to dress like you're from the Victorian era, but I really don't think micro-mini skirts are appropriate wear, nor are those really scoop-necked tops.  The kids have a dress code, and I make mine follow it, and I'm pretty sure your employer has a dress code.  You should be following it, too.

Oh, and please be consistent with enforcing the student dress code.  Just because Sally is cute and petite in her little mini dress and Molly is queen-sized, don't punish Molly by sending her home for something more "appropriate" because that mini-dress doesn't look as good on her, in your opinion.  Same thing with those low-slung hip-hugging jeans or leggings. Ass crack is ass crack, regardless of who's showing it. So be consistent. And I don't want to see it on you, either, especially in the classroom.

6) Please don't push your personal agenda. Yep, school is a place for learning, expanding the mind, exploring new ideas and concepts, maybe even being a little uncomfortable with the realization that what we've always believed isn't necessarily how it really is.  But please don't push your values onto my child, and attempt to convince her that just because her parents are dyed-in-the-wool Democrats that they're stupid for voting for the Democratic candidate.  There are other ways of discussing the pros and cons of each party's candidate.  I have no objection to my child learning why you believe the Republican party is the best party to lead this country, but be respectful of the other views, too.  And remember -you're dealing with children, whose world-views are shaped at home - and just as in school, they only pick up part of the conversation - their concept of these things is still maturing.  Same goes for the other controversial topics like religion, and whether or not to discuss the reality of Santa and the Easter Bunny.

7) I do my best to prepare my child for the school day. Really, I do.  3 square meals a day, appropriate clothing for the weather, homework completed and signed, backpack ready to go.  But there comes a time when my child has to learn some responsibility, and I can only remind her so often to get her things ready to go.  If she shows up to school without homework, please don't make her call me to bring it to school. It ain't gonna happen.  You can bet if she makes that call and I do have to bring that missing piece, she will hear about it at home.  Maybe that's your point.  If so, email me or send a note home.  We'll deal with it.  And if her grade is lowered due to the missing work, or she misses recess, then maybe she'll learn to put that assignment in the backpack before she leaves for school.  I'm sorry that the learning curve for that sort of thing fell in your school year - I get that it's aggravating, because I deal with it at home ALL. THE. TIME.  So let's work together on it, shall we?

8) I promise not to believe everything Nancy says about life at school if you promise not to believe everything Nancy says about life at home.   I really don't believe that you dropped an F-bomb, or slammed a kid's hand in the desk.  I suspect Nancy was embellishing the tale for the sake of being dramatic.  Likewise, Nancy really didn't have her room stripped of all belongings for being disrespectful to her parents.  Really, she was not allowed to use the phone or watch t.v.  

9) It's difficult to hear negative things about my child. Believe me, I know he doesn't sit still.  I know she blurts out things at inappropriate times and interrupts other people.  I know he has absolutely no organizational skills and that she always has an excuse.  We're trying, really.  And sometimes I avoid conference day because I know, based on the number of detention referrals that come home, that what I'm going to hear isn't good.  Isn't there at least one good thing you could tell me about my kid?  Is he kind to other people? Did he finally remember to bring back his homework, even if it wasn't fully finished?

I know I'm not the perfect parent.  If I ask for advice on something, please be candid.  Even if you don't have children of your own, you've had many in your care over the years - and you'll likely have some insight that I wouldn't otherwise have.  

For those of you who do this, thank you for finding the good in my child, even when s/he is at their most challenging and unlikable.  

If I could give you what I feel you deserve for teaching my child not only academic subjects, but also for modeling common decency toward others - especially toward others for whom being kind is very challenging - I would go broke.  Please don't hate me if I just send a card with a brief note.

Sincerely,
A parent

What would teachers like for Christmas?

I read a post on a social networking site this morning from someone in education who asked, "Education friends, what would you like for Christmas?"

Those in education sometimes get some unusual gifts from students.  As far as I know, the person posing the question hadn't received any red thong panties from her students, nor has anyone gifted her with a home-baked pork chop.  

I can't say I've received anything that truly made me go "hmmm". 

I enjoyed the responses from participants of the unofficial poll, which ranged from items banned from school property like "alcohol," to the immeasurably intangible such as, "another snow day," to the practical, as in, "school supplies.

Here's an idea.

Dear Parents, Guardians, Loved Ones, 

Thank you for the gift of your child, who spends the bulk of their day with us.  It is a leap of faith on your part to entrust your child to our care in the hopes that your child will learn and grow and become a productive member of society.

Budgets are tight, and I'm sure your gift list is long this year.  I understand you may want to "do" something for teacher this year, and I thank you for that.  Truly, I appreciate the thoughtfulness.  If it gives you any relief to be "off the hook" for yet another gift, be relieved - no spending need be involved.

There are a few things on the wish list, though, and I put them out there for your consideration.

Please consider, throughout the year:

1)The pressure that is on educators to educate every single child to his/her fullest potential.  This is a tall order.  Not only do individual schools set standards, districts set standards - and your state government and federal government also set standards.  It's a lot to live up to, it's a lot to execute on a daily basis. Teachers and classroom aides do their best to work together to meet and exceed these expectations.  

2) You are the first teacher your child will ever have.  Please, can we be partners in the education of your child?  Trust that I may see a side of your child (for better or worse) in the classroom that you may not see at home.  I will trust the same, for you.  I know you have a job and other children to care for, other responsibilities. I know, because I have those same responsibilities, too. Please, if the flashcards come home with spelling words or math facts on them, it's important, and your child needs you to help him/her review that information.  

If your child comes home with homework, please encourage your child to complete it to the best of his/her ability.  I'm certain that you know long division, and that you have excellent scrap-booking skills - but the homework (and the grade) is a reflection of your child's learning, not yours.  

Let your child do the homework.  I understand that extra-curricular activities are also a part of a student's learning too, but please don't allow sports or dance or video games to take precedence over your child's academics.  

I'll do my part by not pretending your child has nothing better to do than complete 8 hours of long-division and read ten chapters of the class novel.  

3) I promise not to believe everything your child tells me about his home life, if you promise not to believe everything your child tells you about his school life.  If you ever have any questions or concerns, call me. Email me. Text me. Come see me and we'll talk face-to-face.  Really.  Come to a conference now and then.

4) School supplies.  Every kid needs them, not every classroom has a ready supply of community and/or individual supplies.  If you're having difficulty getting your child what he/she needs, you can let me know.  I'll do what I can to see to it your child has what is needed.  

5) Yes, your child could have done/said that.  Believe me, if I'm standing right there and witness it being said, or being done, and it came out of your child's mouth, it definitely happened.  And if it warrants contact with you, it's something that needs to be addressed.  All of us have different ideas about what is acceptable behavior. At school, the rules may seem very strict and sometimes even silly.  Whatever my personal feelings may be, I have to support those rules for the safety and well-being of the other children in the class, as well as for your child. Sometimes, whatever happened is not always someone else's fault.
  
6) I'm not in this for the money.  I know, I know.  Summers off, holidays off.  We hear it all the time.  I really don't get rich off this job.  Many teachers spend their own income on school supplies for the classroom as well as for individual students who are in need.  They purchase books for the classroom library.  They purchase educational materials to enhance the curriculum that is in place.  They purchase and provide items in the classroom to make it a welcoming place for your child (stuffed animals? comfortable places to sit during reading time? posters? rugs? the list is long).  

Like many of you, teachers also have student loans, typical household expenses, and this thing called "continuing education" which requires college classes every so many years in order for us to keep our state certificates current so we can remain employed in the field of education.  Oh, and we also pay for those state certificates, just as many of you pay for the licensing for your employment.  

So no, I'm not in it for the money.  Many of us have had our pay frozen (not even a "cost of living" increase) while our expenses have increased, just like other people's have.  

Some of us really are in this for the kids - to help them learn, to encourage their growth in so many ways, to support them where they need it, when they need it.

7) I do my best to educate your child.  No, really, I do.  Yes, there are days when I wish I'd gone to be a Walmart greeter.  But there are more days where I see the light bulb go on in a child's eyes and know they've grasped a concept that was hard for them.  There are more days when a child takes a few positive steps forward than many steps back.  

Yes, I understand your experience with education wasn't always the best, and maybe that's true for your child, too.  I'm sorry you experienced the lazy and unconcerned educators.  

On the flip side, and yes, I'm going to say it, I've experienced the lazy and unconcerned parents.  This is where the partnership comes in.  We can support each other at home and at school by being strong adults and good role models for the kids entrusted to our care either by biology, law, or the strictures of a school day.  

Do your best to be a parent to your child.  I'll do my best to support that on a daily basis in school - along with the education part.  It may not always make me popular with you or with your child, but it's part of the territory. 

8) Please be on time.  I'm required to be on the job at a certain time every day.  The start of the school day is not a "suggested" time for me, nor is it a "suggested time" for your child.  I understand that there will be days (my mother always said so, and it's true) . . .the dog gets out, the alarm doesn't go off, the power goes out, somebody is sick - but please make an effort to help your child start the school day on time.  

It sends a message that school is important, and that your child's presence and participation are also important.


So many of these things go hand-in-hand.  However, if you're in that holiday spirit, you might consider trying just one of the above items.  See how it goes.  Even if we don't see eye-to-eye on everything, it doesn't mean that we can't have a successful partnership in the education of your child. 

Happy holidays.

Sincerely,
A Former Teacher