Cell Phone Harmony: A-one...a-two...a-three...

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It's that time of year when parents of children of all ages are invited to hear the accumulation of a years' worth of work.

That is, if your child is involved in some sort of music program.

Every spring, my kids were tortured pleased to participate in a spring music program in elementary school.  This consisted of kids taking the stage according to grade level and singing such hits as, "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean."  Parents waited patiently and applauded enthusiastically at the end of each number, and no one could stifle grins once the kindergarteners took the stage.



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Once the kids hit middle school, the music program gets a little more serious. The admiration toward the elementary music director over how she can tease music out of kids drawn in squiggle-vision turns to real awe once you hear the middle school choir.

We recently attended the spring concert for my daughter, Big Sister, and what a treat that was.  A choir for each of three grades, varying numbers of participants, and excellent talent and skill across the board.

The only discordant notes to be heard were those of a cell phone.

Heavy sigh.

I've said it a million times, but I suppose I must say it again - though if you're a semi-regular reader, I know I'm just preaching to the choir (no joke intended, as this is about something that occurred during a choir concert):



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TURN OFF THE CELL PHONE.

Please.  For the listening pleasure of the rest of the crowd, turn off the cell phone.  Let me repeat that once more:

Turn off the cell phone.

The discordant jangle of the cell phone occurred a few times over the course of the evening.  To listen to the songs of three grades took just about one hour.  60 minutes of an audience's time to hear their child sing, and a few people couldn't live without their cell phones.

I believe my sister summed it up best, when she experienced this at her son, Bud's, band concert this spring:

"Mom and dad, am I so unimportant that I can't have fifteen minutes of your undivided time and attention so I can share with you some of the things I've learned this year?"

Yes, Virginia, you are unimportant.

You are SO unimportant that mommy and daddy cannot possibly distance themselves from their electronic gadgets more than two seconds in order to give you time and attention.  Don't worry, honey.  You can always text them from your seat onstage and let them know you're there.

 One rather incongruous thing happened at Bud's concert, though.  One of the students had a cell phone announce its presence just before it was time to play.



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I wonder how many parents thought, huffily, "WHAT does a SEVENTH GRADER need with a CELL PHONE.  It's the SPRING CONCERT for PETE'S SAKE."

Well.  Whatever his reasons, he no doubt learned it from the adults in his life.

Skytel cellular phone commercial, youtube.com.

Remember this gem?

Class Reunions

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A couple of years ago, I wrote a list of  "It's all about Stylish me" items for a blog post. I admitted in that list of things about me that I had not ever attended a high school class reunion.


Last year, in 2012, I attended my first ever high school class reunion.

I admit it took someone else to generously offer me tickets to fully convince me that I should attend.  This friend couldn't use them, due to a conflict in scheduling.  I had waffled too much in making a decision, and had missed the deadline for getting tickets.

Getting ready felt a little like getting ready for a high school dance.

What do I wear? Will I be overdressed? Comfortable shoes vs. stylish shoes?  Does my hair look all right?

Will anybody recognize me? Will anyone be pleased to see me? Is everyone going to say, "Wow! You got fat!"  What will we talk about? Did I just use someone else's reunion tickets to eat a dinner with my husband because no one else will talk to me?  Who else is coming?

Some of us may envision reunion scenes such as this:

(You-Tube, 30 Rock Reunion)


Others will think of their high school days like this:

(High School Sucks: The  Musical)



Still others of us remember the social hierarchy this way:

(Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, part 9, you-tube)

And then, there's this take: 

(Gabriel Iglesies, You Tube)

Some of us hear a name, and it brings back many memories:

(My Ten-year High School reunion, you-tube)

So, I went to my high school reunion.


I saw a lot of nice people I hadn't seen since high school graduation.  It was interesting to see how the years melt away, and to find out what everyone had been up to over the last 25 years.  It was also fun to interact with former teachers and staff as adults, rather than teacher/student.

I learned that there are still moments in adulthood that will make you squirm with embarrassment as though you were still in high school.  Most people are happy to see you and have a good chat.  Others, just as in high school, are indifferent to your presence.

Meh.

And just like in high school, in adulthood, you'll survive those moments.  You'll find that you have more in common with your classmates than you  may have expected.  You'll find that many of them, just as in high school, still accept you just the way you are and there's no need to try to impress the "A-Team", Romy & Michele style.  You'll renew old friendships.  You'll make new friendships.  You may discover that most people there had the same insecurities and qualms about attending that you did.

If you decide it's too much for you, you can always kick back with a good reunion movie.

Parents Mess Up, Too

Lenore strikes again, with this post about two elementary-aged boys who walked home from school.    The children's father had called the school to say he'd be late in picking up his children.

Apparently this is newsworthy because the school allowed the children to walk home, unattended by any responsible adult, a full two miles, and didn't relay the message to the children that dad, indeed, would be coming. He'd just be late.

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It took three hours to find the children.

They were en route home, and decided to play in a nearby park.

They were unharmed.

Except this made the news, because somebody dropped the ball.

Yes, the children were safe.  Yes, dad was very, very concerned.  Yes, someone should have let those children know to wait at school, because dad was on his way.

But it didn't happen.

And this is newsworthy because the SCHOOL MESSED UP.

Ok.  I get it.

But what about when the parents mess up?

What about the parents who:

Art of the Streets
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• Drop their child off well after the school start time? It's apparent that for some families, 8:30 a.m. is just a "suggested" time. Sure, everybody goofs now and then and clocks are set for the wrong time, someone oversleeps, or you forget it isn't spring break yet and discover your child should really be in school *ahem. Oh wait. That was me.  Anyway. . .  but many days, children trickle in for an hour after the start time.  But that's ok, it's just school, right?
• Don't sign their child in, when they're late for school.  Parents are *supposed* to park the car, walk the child into the building (using the buzzer if needed), sign the child in at the office and fill out the lines that say, "Child's name," "parent's name," "reason for absence/tardy/etc." and people usually write things like "doctor appointment" or "sick" or, for the few who play by the rules, "missed the bus."  Very rarely happens.  Instead, the child is dropped off at the door.  Many of them are too short to reach the buzzer and aren't strong enough to open that heavy door, which is kept locked for security reasons.  Sometimes, a child stands outside the door for ten minutes before anyone realizes s/he is there.  That's all right though, it's only school.  SOMEBODY will see that a child is out there and let him/her in, right?
• Drop the child at school before there is a responsible adult on hand.  At our school, children are not supposed to arrive before 8:10 a.m.  Many days, they arrive anywhere from 7:30 onward.  Never mind that there is no responsible adult on hand, it's SCHOOL - so it MUST be ok. 

"Late for School"
Illustration by George Ulrich
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There's a double standard when it comes to what is considered acceptable when it's on the parent to do the right thing vs. when it's the school who is supposed to do the right thing. People tend to view "School" as this benign entity that will always be available to watch over the child and see to it no harm comes, as in, "It's a school playground and even though it's too early for him to be here, I'm still dropping him off."  As in, "It's school, the parking lot is full, so I know junior can get into the building on his own."  As in, "It's school. It's ok if my child is perpetually late. It's not as if what they do there is important."

Here's the double standard, in case you missed it: It's never ok if the school messes up, but it's always ok if the parent messes up.

What would happen if every parent who broke the school rules was put on the nightly news?  

I wonder how many would make sure their child got into the building before driving off.  

I wonder how many would stop dropping their child off before an adult is available to supervise.  

I wonder how many would actually sign the child in, as they are supposed to, instead of just driving away and assuming that the child entered the building.

I wonder how many would remember to call and excuse the child from school for an illness.

I get it - the dad in this article couldn't find his children where he was told they would be.  Somebody didn't do their job, and there was some very real panic.  "School" messed up.  

PARENTS mess up, too - and that's not ok, either.

  

What would teachers like for Christmas?

I read a post on a social networking site this morning from someone in education who asked, "Education friends, what would you like for Christmas?"

Those in education sometimes get some unusual gifts from students.  As far as I know, the person posing the question hadn't received any red thong panties from her students, nor has anyone gifted her with a home-baked pork chop.  

I can't say I've received anything that truly made me go "hmmm". 

I enjoyed the responses from participants of the unofficial poll, which ranged from items banned from school property like "alcohol," to the immeasurably intangible such as, "another snow day," to the practical, as in, "school supplies.

Here's an idea.

Dear Parents, Guardians, Loved Ones, 

Thank you for the gift of your child, who spends the bulk of their day with us.  It is a leap of faith on your part to entrust your child to our care in the hopes that your child will learn and grow and become a productive member of society.

Budgets are tight, and I'm sure your gift list is long this year.  I understand you may want to "do" something for teacher this year, and I thank you for that.  Truly, I appreciate the thoughtfulness.  If it gives you any relief to be "off the hook" for yet another gift, be relieved - no spending need be involved.

There are a few things on the wish list, though, and I put them out there for your consideration.

Please consider, throughout the year:

1)The pressure that is on educators to educate every single child to his/her fullest potential.  This is a tall order.  Not only do individual schools set standards, districts set standards - and your state government and federal government also set standards.  It's a lot to live up to, it's a lot to execute on a daily basis. Teachers and classroom aides do their best to work together to meet and exceed these expectations.  

2) You are the first teacher your child will ever have.  Please, can we be partners in the education of your child?  Trust that I may see a side of your child (for better or worse) in the classroom that you may not see at home.  I will trust the same, for you.  I know you have a job and other children to care for, other responsibilities. I know, because I have those same responsibilities, too. Please, if the flashcards come home with spelling words or math facts on them, it's important, and your child needs you to help him/her review that information.  

If your child comes home with homework, please encourage your child to complete it to the best of his/her ability.  I'm certain that you know long division, and that you have excellent scrap-booking skills - but the homework (and the grade) is a reflection of your child's learning, not yours.  

Let your child do the homework.  I understand that extra-curricular activities are also a part of a student's learning too, but please don't allow sports or dance or video games to take precedence over your child's academics.  

I'll do my part by not pretending your child has nothing better to do than complete 8 hours of long-division and read ten chapters of the class novel.  

3) I promise not to believe everything your child tells me about his home life, if you promise not to believe everything your child tells you about his school life.  If you ever have any questions or concerns, call me. Email me. Text me. Come see me and we'll talk face-to-face.  Really.  Come to a conference now and then.

4) School supplies.  Every kid needs them, not every classroom has a ready supply of community and/or individual supplies.  If you're having difficulty getting your child what he/she needs, you can let me know.  I'll do what I can to see to it your child has what is needed.  

5) Yes, your child could have done/said that.  Believe me, if I'm standing right there and witness it being said, or being done, and it came out of your child's mouth, it definitely happened.  And if it warrants contact with you, it's something that needs to be addressed.  All of us have different ideas about what is acceptable behavior. At school, the rules may seem very strict and sometimes even silly.  Whatever my personal feelings may be, I have to support those rules for the safety and well-being of the other children in the class, as well as for your child. Sometimes, whatever happened is not always someone else's fault.
  
6) I'm not in this for the money.  I know, I know.  Summers off, holidays off.  We hear it all the time.  I really don't get rich off this job.  Many teachers spend their own income on school supplies for the classroom as well as for individual students who are in need.  They purchase books for the classroom library.  They purchase educational materials to enhance the curriculum that is in place.  They purchase and provide items in the classroom to make it a welcoming place for your child (stuffed animals? comfortable places to sit during reading time? posters? rugs? the list is long).  

Like many of you, teachers also have student loans, typical household expenses, and this thing called "continuing education" which requires college classes every so many years in order for us to keep our state certificates current so we can remain employed in the field of education.  Oh, and we also pay for those state certificates, just as many of you pay for the licensing for your employment.  

So no, I'm not in it for the money.  Many of us have had our pay frozen (not even a "cost of living" increase) while our expenses have increased, just like other people's have.  

Some of us really are in this for the kids - to help them learn, to encourage their growth in so many ways, to support them where they need it, when they need it.

7) I do my best to educate your child.  No, really, I do.  Yes, there are days when I wish I'd gone to be a Walmart greeter.  But there are more days where I see the light bulb go on in a child's eyes and know they've grasped a concept that was hard for them.  There are more days when a child takes a few positive steps forward than many steps back.  

Yes, I understand your experience with education wasn't always the best, and maybe that's true for your child, too.  I'm sorry you experienced the lazy and unconcerned educators.  

On the flip side, and yes, I'm going to say it, I've experienced the lazy and unconcerned parents.  This is where the partnership comes in.  We can support each other at home and at school by being strong adults and good role models for the kids entrusted to our care either by biology, law, or the strictures of a school day.  

Do your best to be a parent to your child.  I'll do my best to support that on a daily basis in school - along with the education part.  It may not always make me popular with you or with your child, but it's part of the territory. 

8) Please be on time.  I'm required to be on the job at a certain time every day.  The start of the school day is not a "suggested" time for me, nor is it a "suggested time" for your child.  I understand that there will be days (my mother always said so, and it's true) . . .the dog gets out, the alarm doesn't go off, the power goes out, somebody is sick - but please make an effort to help your child start the school day on time.  

It sends a message that school is important, and that your child's presence and participation are also important.


So many of these things go hand-in-hand.  However, if you're in that holiday spirit, you might consider trying just one of the above items.  See how it goes.  Even if we don't see eye-to-eye on everything, it doesn't mean that we can't have a successful partnership in the education of your child. 

Happy holidays.

Sincerely,
A Former Teacher