What would parents like for Christmas?

As promised, here is the 'parent rebuttal' to the "What would Teachers Like for Christmas" post. 


Dear Teacher,

Thank you for the gift of your knowledge and expertise, which you share daily with my child.  I'm really thankful that there's a school I can send my child to where people really care about him/her, and will also teach him the finer points of long-division and how to reduce fractions.  If I had to home school, I think I'd be in big trouble.

Not to mention, much as I love my child, there are days when he/she irritates the crap out of me, so I can only imagine how it is for you, dealing with 30 or more in a classroom at any given time.

It's that time of year again, when we parents start to sweat the stuff like, "What should we give Billy's teacher so it doesn't look like we're trying to buy him a good grade or one less trip to detention?" We've all been taught it's better to give than to receive, but there are a few things I wouldn't mind receiving, if you're feeling in the mood.  Here's the start of my list:

1) Can we be done with assessment tests, already?  Seems like we just got done with the MEAP, and now there's another one on board.  My poor kid is stressed out, unable to sleep, because there's yet another test.  I know it has to be done, but it's awfully frustrating at this end, too.

2)  Please, can we be partners in the educating of my child?  I know you've got a lot on your plate, because I've been to open house and to conferences.  I also read the paper and see the new guidelines the state has put down for the education of our kids.  The day is short, and the list of requirements is long.  But we're in elementary school. Can we take a ten-minute recess, please? I'm willing to help my child with homework, but does s/he really need 30 problems of the same type just to show proficiency? Wouldn't five or ten be sufficient?  And I know all those subjects are important or they wouldn't be in the curriculum, but do you really think my child has no other obligation in life but to do two hours of geometry every evening, as well as a 2-page essay about what started World War II (and that's just answering the first question in the history book)?  And let's not forget science and English homework.

Oh, and if my child has homework because s/he is screwing around when s/he should be working, please let me know that before parent conferences so we can fix that problem.  That's why I give you my contact info. for home and at work. And I'm serious, when I say contact me at ANY time. Except when normal people sleep.

I'll vow to limit my child's extra-curriculars if you vow to cut back on the ridiculous amount of homework.  

And to directly contradict that statement, please understand that there may be times when my kid's extra-curricular schedule conflicts with the school day - especially if there's a special tournament, or something like that.  

We do our best to schedule appointments after-school hours, but sometimes that doctor or dental appointment can't happen at any other time.

And on that note - 

3) Don't get irritated with me when I pull my child from school for a family vacation.  I don't work for a school district, and my employer allows me 2 weeks of vacation per year.  I can't always get the prime time off - which ideally would be that block of time during winter and spring, which typically coincides with Christmas and Easter.  There are other people at my workplace, and they all want that time, too.   I know the kids will miss school and the accompanying work - and some of it just isn't possible to make up.  But, that's why I let you know well ahead of time, whenever possible, so we can help Junior keep up with at least the basic classwork during the time he's gone.  And even though we're "on vacation," we'll see to it that Junior gets that work done, and makes up anything he missed upon his return.  

Pathwayacademy.net
"Other than your child's backpack and clothing,
do not label school supplies with your child's
name.  Supplies will be community supplies
for all to use." 

4) School supplies.  The list gets longer every year.  If the school requires a specially sized 5 1/2" x 7 1/2" notebook with an orange cover, then they can damn well provide it because I checked every office supply store and every Walmart/Target/Meijer in a five-county area and still couldn't find that damned thing. Of course, I learned on the fourth day of school that Billy's mom had bought out the entire supply. Thanks a bunch, Billy's mom.

I'll do my best to fulfill the school supply list for my kid, but really, is it a deal breaker if I buy her the box of 24-crayons instead of the box of 12? Seriously? 

And believe it or not, I do send pencils with that kid.  Where they go, I do not know. There's probably a vortex where all missing pencils go, kind of like the missing socks on laundry day.

Oh. And if I can, I will purchase extra supplies and donate them to you. I know there are some students who just don't have the means to get a notebook or other basics.  But, don't ask me to send all 26 glue sticks to school with Jimmy so you can stock your classroom.  If I'm purchasing 26 glue sticks for Jimmy, and ten other parents are purchasing 26 glue sticks for their Jimmys, you can bet you'll have glue sticks to last the next couple of years, and my Jimmy's glue sticks will go to school with him on an as-needed basis. That goes for lined notebook paper, spiral notebooks, scissors, rulers, pencils, hi-lighters, and ink pens, too.  If you need help stocking the classroom, say so - don't hijack me with a list of items that is purportedly for the use of just my own kid, but is really for everyone else.

murphydesigns.bizland.com

5) I really do try to clothe my child in decent apparel, and to set an example. Would you please maintain some professional standard of dress?  I know fashions change, and I certainly wouldn't expect you to dress like you're from the Victorian era, but I really don't think micro-mini skirts are appropriate wear, nor are those really scoop-necked tops.  The kids have a dress code, and I make mine follow it, and I'm pretty sure your employer has a dress code.  You should be following it, too.

Oh, and please be consistent with enforcing the student dress code.  Just because Sally is cute and petite in her little mini dress and Molly is queen-sized, don't punish Molly by sending her home for something more "appropriate" because that mini-dress doesn't look as good on her, in your opinion.  Same thing with those low-slung hip-hugging jeans or leggings. Ass crack is ass crack, regardless of who's showing it. So be consistent. And I don't want to see it on you, either, especially in the classroom.

6) Please don't push your personal agenda. Yep, school is a place for learning, expanding the mind, exploring new ideas and concepts, maybe even being a little uncomfortable with the realization that what we've always believed isn't necessarily how it really is.  But please don't push your values onto my child, and attempt to convince her that just because her parents are dyed-in-the-wool Democrats that they're stupid for voting for the Democratic candidate.  There are other ways of discussing the pros and cons of each party's candidate.  I have no objection to my child learning why you believe the Republican party is the best party to lead this country, but be respectful of the other views, too.  And remember -you're dealing with children, whose world-views are shaped at home - and just as in school, they only pick up part of the conversation - their concept of these things is still maturing.  Same goes for the other controversial topics like religion, and whether or not to discuss the reality of Santa and the Easter Bunny.

7) I do my best to prepare my child for the school day. Really, I do.  3 square meals a day, appropriate clothing for the weather, homework completed and signed, backpack ready to go.  But there comes a time when my child has to learn some responsibility, and I can only remind her so often to get her things ready to go.  If she shows up to school without homework, please don't make her call me to bring it to school. It ain't gonna happen.  You can bet if she makes that call and I do have to bring that missing piece, she will hear about it at home.  Maybe that's your point.  If so, email me or send a note home.  We'll deal with it.  And if her grade is lowered due to the missing work, or she misses recess, then maybe she'll learn to put that assignment in the backpack before she leaves for school.  I'm sorry that the learning curve for that sort of thing fell in your school year - I get that it's aggravating, because I deal with it at home ALL. THE. TIME.  So let's work together on it, shall we?

8) I promise not to believe everything Nancy says about life at school if you promise not to believe everything Nancy says about life at home.   I really don't believe that you dropped an F-bomb, or slammed a kid's hand in the desk.  I suspect Nancy was embellishing the tale for the sake of being dramatic.  Likewise, Nancy really didn't have her room stripped of all belongings for being disrespectful to her parents.  Really, she was not allowed to use the phone or watch t.v.  

9) It's difficult to hear negative things about my child. Believe me, I know he doesn't sit still.  I know she blurts out things at inappropriate times and interrupts other people.  I know he has absolutely no organizational skills and that she always has an excuse.  We're trying, really.  And sometimes I avoid conference day because I know, based on the number of detention referrals that come home, that what I'm going to hear isn't good.  Isn't there at least one good thing you could tell me about my kid?  Is he kind to other people? Did he finally remember to bring back his homework, even if it wasn't fully finished?

I know I'm not the perfect parent.  If I ask for advice on something, please be candid.  Even if you don't have children of your own, you've had many in your care over the years - and you'll likely have some insight that I wouldn't otherwise have.  

For those of you who do this, thank you for finding the good in my child, even when s/he is at their most challenging and unlikable.  

If I could give you what I feel you deserve for teaching my child not only academic subjects, but also for modeling common decency toward others - especially toward others for whom being kind is very challenging - I would go broke.  Please don't hate me if I just send a card with a brief note.

Sincerely,
A parent