Kids: Life's Great Paradox

More accurately, the title should read, "Kids: Our attitude toward them is paradoxical." Is paradoxical even a word?





thundafunda.com

• We can't wait to have children.  Then, we have them.  To paraphrase Shrek,  "They poop and they cry and they cry when they poop and they eat and they cry and they cry when they eat and then they poop some more. . ." and we say, "Man, I can't wait until this kid is potty trained and sleeps through the night." 
• When the kids were potty trained, it was like getting a pay raise.  When they slept through the night, we still woke up at 3 a.m. and would tiptoe into the bedroom and make sure they were still breathing.
 



andyspiders.com

• We love holding the babies.  They're small, cherubic, warm, snuggly.  And we say, "Holy cow, I can't wait until this kid is old enough to walk because my back is killing me from carrying him/her all over, wherever we go."  Then, the kid learns to walk and we wish for a way to corral him so he stays out of mischeif.
 



gmhightechperformance.com

• At first, we're so thrilled to see and own every piece of baby paraphernelia known to mankind.  Then, as baby grows, we say, "This crap is expensive! What do we need that for?" And you buy it anyway.  You say, "I can't wait until they outgrow this stuff and we don't have to buy it anymore."
• Then, we discover by around age sixteen, the price of the kid's toys has gone up considerably.
 



youngadults.about.com

• Our kids drive us crazy, we think, and we say we can't wait until the move out of the house.  No more waiting up nights, wondering if they're all right while they're out with their friends.  No more hollering, "Turn down that music!" or "Take out the trash!" or "Did you do your homework?"  Then, the kids are off to college, or moving out "for good," and suddenly we wish they were home, again.
 



maternitybykoren.com

• We say, "Just wait until you have kids of your own," because we feel we are superior in our knowledge that our own kids will be driven absolutely crazy like we were.  We say, "I hope you have a kid just. . . like. . . yourself." And we mean it, for every time our kids were sullen, snotty, sweet, caring, kind, wise. . ." And then, our kids have kids and suddenly we feel old - because we're grandparents, and in holding that grandchild, we suddenly remember what it was like to hold our own for the very first time - and how we were so thrilled to have that new life.  And then we remember that it's time for the 3 a.m. feeding and we say, "They poop and they cry and they cry when the poop. . ."

As my daughter said to me the other day, "What is it with grown ups? One day they want us to be babies, and the next day they want us to be grown up."

I said, "Just wait until you have kids of your own."