As it stands, it's only Thursday - and Thursday morning, at that.
My mind is empty of any rational thought.
Instead, there are a jillion things roaming around my brain, colliding and trying to make some sort of sense. I'm sure all of us have days like that, and it's not just me.
All I can think of right now are school pictures. That's a bad thing.
School pictures have got to be one of the worst forms of torture known to mankind. Our school photos have been sent home within the last day or two, and I must say, they are truly horrific. Being employed at a school, I am required to have a photo identification card.
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| chicagodancesingles.com |
I dutifully wait in line for my turn at the camera. Gone are the days when you'd sit on the stool with your head turned one way, torso another, and from the waist down pointing yet another direction. Now, there are paper feet to stand on - remniscent of those old "Learn to dance" cut-out feet.
And, the head&shoulders pose is now passe. Along with the new, cut-out feet, we are subjected to the 3/4 body shot. From about waist up, hands folded demurely, this pose shows every bulge and clothing wrinkle you possess.
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| Grandpa Simpson |
No one can possibly be more adept at making your 4th grader look stoned, the most attractive person look like they got hit by a Mack truck, the least attractive person look even more unattractive, find the wimpiest poses, the most age-inappropriate poses - capturing into infinity the way we weren't back in "dickety-two" (as Grandpa Simpson would say).
Here are some yearbook photo gems to help us tip our hats to the School Photographer.
Let no child be left behind from the pain of school photos.
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| bodybuilding.com Looks like something from the set of "Saved by the Bell." |
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| huffingtonpost.com Mug shot, mayhap? Well, at least he looks happy. |
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| ebaumsworld.com Mirror, Mirror, in my hand This is the weirdest pose in the land. |
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| current.com No, wait. THIS is the weirdest pose in the land. |
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| huffingtonpost.com Reminds me of "Meathead" from All in the Family.  Meathead, All in the Family  Don't mess with her - not only can she bake that cherry pie, Billy Boy, she can whup your ass, too. |
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| buzzfeed.com Yep. Another photo of some innocent girl looking stoned out of her mind. |
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| huffingtonpst.com What the hell? |
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| awfulyearbook.com The web site title says it all. |
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| huffingtonpost.com I loved the 1980s, and would have (possibly) killed to have hair that looked like this every day. |
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| huffingtonpost.com Huffington Post dubbed this photo "Eat my Shorts." Seems appropriate. I feel kind of bad for the guy, though, being immortalized this way because nobody insisted he go to picture re-take day. Oh. Maybe this IS the retake. |
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| badyearbookphotos.com He doesn't just *look* stoned, he probably is. |
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| badyearbookphotos.com I like a guy who knows how to dress up. I'm betting it was the photographer who was stoned during this take, though. |
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