Sharing a Room

According to this article,   sharing a bedroom is one way to help kids learn how to compromise, become good friends, and develop social skills.  One parent says it's good practice for college dorm life and marriage.

I shared a room with my two older sisters.  I don't remember when that arrangement started - but I have very few memories of ever not having shared a room with a sibling.  My older sisters were newly installed in the recently renovated attic, which was a veritable kingdom at the time - spacious for two kids, two beds, two dressers, and some toys.  They were a year apart in age, so it seemed a natural to put them in the same room rather than with a sibling who was 3 and 4 years younger.

Apparently I was a brat, because that arrangement didn't last long.  The veritable kingdom soon became a cramped peon's hut with three kids, three beds, three dressers, and more toys.  Plus - my sisters had to keep the noise level down because I was younger, which meant lights out a bit earlier for just me - a challenge, when you share a room.

I suppose it was fortuitous on my parents' part to put us all together, because a few years later, there were two new kids in the house who took up the bedroom I was to have reigned over, downstairs.

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Now - in our house, it was just a given that somebody would have to share a room.  We had a three-bedroom house, after all, and no basement.

I was rather envious of my friends, who had a bedroom all to themselves - and they even had siblings.  But, each child had her own room - no squabbling about turning out the lights, whose turn it is to vacuum or dust, and whose stuff is strewn about where.  Though, I was amazed to learn that one of my friends and her sister wanted to share a room - even though there was plenty of space for each girl to have her own room.  I thought they were crazy.

Now, this article , may I remind you, also says that sharing a room is good for kids because they'll learn social skills.

Yep, I learned social skills, all right.  I learned enough social skills that when I got to college, which sharing a room was supposed to prepare me for, I was probably the worst roommate on the planet.  I lived in a dorm that was old and outdated, with the living space consisting of two rooms: one room for "study," which opened onto the hallway, and one room for "sleeping," which was the "inside" room.  Bathrooms were down the hall, community-style.  That was fine by me - no roommate squabbles about whose turn it is to clean the toilet.

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Other girls looked forward to decorating and coordinating their dorm rooms, envisioning they'd spend hours confiding and chatting into the wee hours of  the morning.  I, however, completely didn't mind claiming one of those two rooms for my own - I had no interest in sharing sleeping quarters with my roommate.  Fortunately, the roommate didn't seem to mind, either - so we each had our own "study/sleeping" space in our own space.  For us, it worked.

I never had to put up with someone borrowing my clothes without asking, though the room I shared at home had a closet all three of us girls used. Yes, it was a huge closet.  Remember - the room was a converted attic, so dad built the closet as big as we needed.  Lucky us!  With toys, I don't remember anyone borrowing anyone else's toys unless they asked, first.

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Those are things the experts say kids should always be taught when they share a room.  I say they should be taught that whether they share a room, or not.  I am newly astounded every time a student raises his or her hand and says, "Jimmy has my book/crayons/pencil/eraser/etc."  And then Jimmy says, "Well I just BORROWED it," while admitting he didn't ask permission to borrow anything, even though the item in question was tucked away in a desk, out of sight.

Evidently, no one ever taught Jimmy that one should ask permission before taking what doesn't belong to one.  Mayhap if Jimmy had to share a bedroom, the apparently condoned practice of "borrowing without asking permission" would be halted in its tracks.

I don't know why, all of a sudden, it's considered "trendy" for kids to share a room.  It's something kids have done for ages, and will likely continue to do for ages.  For many kids, it's just a fact of life.  I personally don't feel that my social skills are any better or worse than those of the kid who didn't share a room growing up.  Sharing a room as a kid didn't make me any less sensitive to someone else's snoring, dirty clothes on the floor, or general clutter here and there.  I don't think it made me any more sensitive about my own snoring, dirty clothes, or general clutter.

I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.

What I'd like to see the experts tackle is how seven people in the same household sharing one bathroom teaches kids how to get along.  Now that's an article I'd like to read.

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