Hair Accessories

Let's hope we're a little more enlightened in 2013 than we were in 2008 when it comes to hair accessories.  Oh hell, what am I thinking? Look at how we dress. Of course enlightenment hasn't happened yet . . .

Sometimes, when I leave my house and have lunch with other grown ups, we have some really interesting conversations.  Not all of the talk centers around bodily functions like farting, burping, arm pit noises, or vomit, as it does when I eat with my children, or my brothers.

I can't say that this conversation went above and beyond the usual, because it had to do with condoms being recycled for hair bands. 

My first thought, after the initial "THAT IS SO FREAKING GROSS!" is that this had to be one of those Internet Hoaxes that everyone gets in their email.  You know, stuff along the lines of "if you don't forward this, you'll have bad luck for ten years," or "If you do forward this, you'll get a million dollars from Bill Gates."

So I did some checking, and sure enough, this is NOT a hoax, it is theTRUTH.  The best source I've found online for checking hoaxes (need we revisit Richard Gere and the gerbils?) is Snopes.com, and sure enough they had the scoop on the recycled condoms.

I can't help but wonder--who in the world would think about recycling condoms?  One article states that the condoms that were "supposed" to be used as hair bands were the condoms that didn't pass the muster at the factory. They were not up to standard, and instead of being sent to recycling directly, someone in China had the bright idea that these should be used as hair bands--twine some pretty cloth and thread around them, and voila! Instant hair decoration!

Talk about keeping the short and curlies nice and tidy.

Ewwwww.

But to use "abandoned" condoms? What--did the people of China walk the back alleys and pick up used condoms that were lying in ditches and say "Hey, I think I'll use this to help put my daughter's hair into a pony tail!"

I wonder if they were given a special rate for how many they brought in.  One dozen used condoms--a free package of hair bands is your reward.

I suspect that dollar stores across America have some of these hanging on their displays, still.  I admit I used to buy pony tail holders there--the way my daughter lost them, it wasn't worth it to me to spend $4.99 per package at a name-recognizable store just for pony tail holders. The ones I purchased didnot in any way resemble the bands that are pictured in the recycled condom article.  Though I suppose I could cut apart the remaining hair bands and see for myself just what exactly the damned things are made of.

I'm for recycling, and think that there is a lot of waste that goes on in this country. I try to combat it on my own level, though, starting with my own household.  We break down boxes to set out on recycling day. I don't bag my grass clippings, much to the general chagrin of the neighborhood, I'm sure. Someone keeps such an eye on my lawn care or lack thereof that they sent a lawn and garden company to my door to offer a neighborhood discount if they could spray my weeds.  I grow a garden for my own vegetables, and I reuse my plastic and paper bags.

We do other things to attempt to recycle, too, but used condoms? People, some things are just too gross for words or consideration. I just can't believe that somebody out there thought putting condoms in the hair of children was a good idea.  What's next? Shall we see them in the balloon aisle, to be distributed as party favors?

No doubt someone is sputtering that the condoms are decorated, so what's the big deal? It's not like you'd know it's a condom, unless you took the hair band apart...

Well, if I scrub my cat's heinie with your toothbrush and you don't see me, does that still make it ok?

I must make one thing clear: I am making the assumption that dollar stores are likely the places who have been selling these recycled condom cum hairbands.  I suppose your local name-recognized retailer might be just as guilty. Who knows? Either way, buyer beware--and if you're in doubt, take one of those hairbands and cut it apart. 

If it contains a condom, return it to the place of purchase and suggest the condom be used for its intended purpose and not as a child's hair decoration.

Ick.