Worst Dates

What do you recall about your worst dates? 

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Schmirtzendoof in the making 

There are two that stand out in my mind.

  

My First Worst Date was with this guy I'll call  Schmirtzendoof.  Schmirtzendoof was a few years older than I was, and when you're both still in high school, that can sometimes be a big age difference. I only saw him briefly during end of the school year activities, and it was one of those big crushes you develop on people you see from afar.  He was cute in a sort of geeky way, drove a hot car, and - well. Some of you know how this works.  You watch that person, you have mental drool, and your girlfriends all giggle and nudge you whenever he walks by and says "hi" to you just for the sake of politeness.  One day, one of my bolder girlfriends did one of those "do you like her circle yes or no" kind of things and asked Schmirtzendoof if he wanted to go out on a date with me.  He said ok, and that weekend, off we went.  Me and Schmirtzendoof, the couple of the hour.  Which is probably about as long as the date lasted.

Thankfully.

I'm sure he felt the same way.

See, when you have this big, bad crush on somebody from afar, nine times out of ten it's better if it stays that way.  Afar. Afar, afar, and very afar away.  Because the reality is far different.  For one thing,  I was totally clueless what to talk to this guy about.  He didn't seem to have much of an idea about conversation, either, so pretty much we just drove around in his car, drove through the various places around town that teens go to hang out (which were deemed too crowded, so we didn't stop), and after increasingly exasperated queries of, "Well, what would you like to do," with me being unable to form a coherent thought, we cut things short and called it a night.

That was the end.  Worst date ever, likely for both of us.  I'm sure he thought I was a complete, bubble-headed moron, and that wouldn't have been too far from the truth at that moment.


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Potsy Webber
(Anson Williams)

The next Worst Date wasn't nearly as bad as the first Worst Date.  Fast-forward a couple years. Potsy Webber was all right.  He was a guy I had a couple of classes with, and we actually could talk to each other.  My sister persuaded me to go out with him.

It's probably not a good sign when you have to be persuaded to go out with someone.  It's not that I disliked Potsy - but I didn't want him to think that I liked him "that way." 

We did the standard teenage movie thing at that time.  A movie - I can't even remember what we went to see - and out for the burger & fries afterward.  It was a "worst date" in that something happened that was very like something that probably happened in an episode of "Happy Days." You young'uns can probably catch that retro show on cable somewhere.

We're in the movies.  It's dark, of course.  Potsy decides it's time to make his move, and does one of those exaggerated but trying to be normal arm stretches, and then suddenly . . . that arm is around the back of my seat, hovering gently just above my shoulders. 

I'm sure Potsy thought that was a pretty slick move.

I was mysteriously busy whenever Potsy called that summer, but we still remained friendly - though not in "that way."

Be sure to click on the links to read about other people's worst dates.  Better yet, share some of yours in the comments.